>On The Road Again…


Time to hit the road
this morning
via car!!!
Well OK, not this car
and certainly not Kamryn driving!
We had a great light show last night, accompanied by a great rain most of the night
with the Thunder Beings playing; oh what a time they had.
My kind of rain; starts at dark and ends right before dawn!
Up early with the family here,
the four-leggeds too, running round the pool celebrating the freshly washed earth and pool deck;
at times seeming to come pretty close to the edge from what I can sense and see!
The Coffee is great this morning here
but soon it will just be me
with some great sounds to distract from the traffic!
Patti Labelle; maybe some Emmy Lou Harris
and Willie Nelson;
along with my thoughts
in the Murano
down through Alligator Alley
into Miami to attend
(The Association of Death Education & Counseling)
where I will speak and do a book signing
at their annual conference.
Hoping to meet some fantastic folks from around the world during my trip as well.
Staying at the
Intercontinental Plaza
there where you have the lovely option of Valet parking for $34 a night or parking a few blocks away for $10 a night!
Whoopee, what an option that is in Miami!!!
I read with interests the comments of yesterday
which of course peaked my interest
yes, of course when I finally did wake up after my sleepless night I felt like I had been hit by a
Northbound Train!
But it did get me to thinking
as sad as it was to relate the story
that one can always count on me
to “keep it real” here
just as I did
Healing Heartaches
when sharing the pioneers of hospice
the many who do the work of hospice;
there are those who seem to have either
lost their way
or just don’t get it.
I still think of that lady who wanted those fake nails
taken off her before dying
and I happen to know the person who had
so graciously agreed in a hot minute
to go to her bedside after working her 40 hours
willing to do so on a Friday night
without thought of self,
just to do what was asked
and give a loving hand massage;
possibly hear a story that this woman would have shared
just because the time would have been right
and the person (*who I know intimately*)
would have looked at her with such understanding and grace that the patient would have felt as though sharing with her would have been the greatest and easiest thing in the world to do, if she still could.
These are the special and wonderful gifts that hospice is known for around the country
and have
excelled at throughout the years.
Elisabeth Kubler-Rossm a pioneer and legends of hospice (one of my heroes in hospice)
said this:
 “I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.”
How true are those words in our life, in our work, our professions… In each breath that we take.
Kubler-Ross was the pioneer whose landmark work
“On Death and Dying” gave us stages of grief;
that many have built on throughout the years.
She lived large although a small woman,
she did not take crap from anyone, she knew that we are only here for a finite time, and that those who need care in the end of their lives need us to be present, to care holistically for and about them.
She also said this, and it is one of my most favorite quotes:
 “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
Don’t you love that quote?
So as I hit the road today,
I’m wondering,
do you have a hospice story or have you been affected by hospice?
I want to know
and I bet others would want to know as well,
I don’t just want the
“hospice people are angels”
Here we are warriors of truth
we keep it real!
Sure I want to know about the wonderful experiences, cos’ as you know
I believe in the vision and mission of hospice
along with the fact that there are some
absolutely awesome women and even some men out there doing some fantastic work with those who need hospice and palliative care!
Hospice and Palliative care is for
those who have serious and life threatening illness AND those who love them.
I’m asking you to share your thoughts and your stories for the rest of this week,
whether good or bad
a combination of both.
C’mon give it to us here.
I can remember back in the day
when we charted on paper;
when we brought in our family to wash linens in a little house that mercy built that was an inpatient unit on Christmas, and to help sit bedside with a dying patient until their family arrived because we were short staffed!
I remember when a CEO crawled through a window to attend to a patient who had locked herself in the house, and neighbors thought her dead, only to find out she was in there and thought herself pregnant, (she was 87)!
I remember when Dr Josefina Magno
decided that those with breast cancer were treated horribly by fellow physicians so she went to London to see how this thing called hospice was done
then decided she must teach physicians how to do things differently and was brilliant
becoming a pioneer in hospice
after her own diagnosis of breast cancer in the early 70’s.
I’ve watched changes, legislation, HIPPA be misunderstood, and things change
not always for the best… but change is the only constant in the world.
I’ve seen dying patients be taken to the beach just to see a sunset one more time;
arrange weddings so that Mothers can see the son get married, and lift her out of a wheel chair so that she could dance with her husband one more time.
I’ve seen magic in the eyes of little children with old souls
aren’t they remarkable?
We sure could learn a lot from them if we would just be still and listen!
So friends,
let me know your thoughts, along with others who visit here!
We know there are many who visit, but don’t comment… it shows up in the “stats” that we are read all over the world!
Hospice is now serving and caring for folks across the globe,
I’m more than certain
many have something to say about their experiences or those of someone they may know… be it great, good, so-so, or not so good.
Let’s get “real” and share the stories
then you can be sure
I’ll educate others
when I’m out there across the country
on ways
that will help and “lessons learned” from the true experts:
Oh my goodness,
the sage has burned and filled the air, with thoughts on the winds to all!
Sandy and Stuart continue to work daily on their home, the smell of soot is there, ceilings are BLACK, but the work is coming into the light for a couple of rooms and progress is being made.
Sandy is a daily reader of the blog
once she returns home here with
“soot and exhaustion”
but a spirit of resiliency and great humor
they both are warriors!
They both appreciate all the love and kindness extended here by those who are holding them up… we continue to hope and pray for an arrest of the arsonist, and justice to be served.
I have to tell you, we are family here, and we stick together, through the darkness we find the light, the humor and we know that we will survive anything.
It is remarkable though, once you have been violated you become extremely keen to the comings and goings in your neighborhood.
That is what is called “hyper vigilance”
we are all rather amazed at it even now!
Also in the prayer bowl
and needing your thoughts:
Little boy Nicholas at St Josephs in Tampa continues to struggle there with his Mom and Grandmom Karen bedside and the brain complications; he is in grave condition at this time.
 Please hold them tenderly
in your thoughts and prayers.
The four leggeds just made a NASCAR run around the pool, but now are giving me the “eye” as they know something is up…
They spied the suitcase last night!
The time is NOW
the tank is filled,
time to love on the four-leggeds
“hit the road”
Here I come Miami… Ready or NOT!
Walk In Beauty,
You can order your copies of
Healing Heartaches, Stories of Life and Loss
at the website above!
(mention that you are one of our gentle warriors when ordering and receive a special thank you gift from me)
Take best care of you
out there Warriors!

8 comments on “>On The Road Again…

  1. >hey, total chaos on the screen after my posted comment ! LOL… have no idea what happened here.. sorry about that !!

  2. >helloooooooooo…… a great trip to Miami, yeep, valet parking seems to me would be your best option.. Blessed are those who wll listen to you speak..my personal dealings with Hospice.. my mom passed with the care of Hospice, thr nursr who visited was an angel.. the social worker sent to evaluate the home and family was a snob of snobs.. spoke to my Mom as if she where senile and deaf, she was neither.. gave us an attitude that she knew more of my mom's needs than we did… heehee.. I do believe we set her straight very quickly. The chaplain who visited the night she passed was quiet, unintrusive and a Godsend.. the same social worker spoke at lentgh to my Dad, and in all my life, I have never seen him so pissed, he never really shared what she spoke of but made it quite clear he wanted her gone , never to step a foot inside again…And when my Jaren passed, hospice provided my family and I… the most comforting, compassionate and professional grief counselor..literally, she saved my life, as I was too devasted and numb to believe there was a chance that I would ever survive… I also had the misfortune of having a second counselor, interim ,due to the illness of my primary #1 saving grace.. This woman I visited only once, and when I tell you , I left the place in tears and total frutration, I am not exaggerating.. she knew nothing of my case, althogh I was told she was up to date.. she never spoke ny daughter's name. she gave a generic,you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, suck it up, get on with your life, doesn't make sense that I would still need to be seeing a grief counselor, kind of visit… I was then determined I would never go back, never ask for help and she made me feel completely ashamed of myself… there you have it.. my experieces with Hospice… I know they are a great org.. I know what wonderful services they provide, I will always be grateful for my #1 saving counselor. who took me, step by step.. lots of hard work along the way.. her kindness and wisdom will never be replaced or matched… I know there are good and evil everywhere… Hospice has a great reputation and moral foundation, but as in any great corporation, it is the worker bees, not the pencil pushing administrators who deserve the kudos and the credit…and you sure have my thanks…Besy wishes to all who visit here.prayers and energy to Baby Nick,Stu and Sandy.. and all of our warriors.STOMP ON..here comes the thunder and lightening..love it !! sign me, hugging my angels,always gratefuk ♥ A. thunder and lightening are filing the skire, awesome, day off here, and love the rain. I amblessed! Best of all to all my gentle warrior friends, parayers fir ay nivk and his fanily, and of course, on going wishes fro Stu and Sandy… may your load get lghter each day !!!My best to all.. this is the greatest place..sign me, hugging my angels.A. ♥ ♥

  3. >My experience with Hospice- First my brother who was died with pancreatic cancer in 2009. A large Hospice company and very poor experience. Next my precious Mom just died 3/13/11. She had dementia, CHF, COPD and Hospice was on her care the last 6 months. Those who came out for the most part were good, caring, compassionate. Dealing with the admin staff was not good. They pulled the Chaplain and the Aide from the nursing home and changed their route and sched around. Mom got to know & love them & they loved her. They replaced them with those who did not seem to care as much or build a relationship with Mom. It was after this Mom began to decline as she could not understand where these 2 people that had loved and cared for her had gone. We spoke to the admin staff and told them that we really wanted the first two back and caring for Mom. They listened and did this and Mom was happy to have them back. Throughout the 6 months we heard from all of those involved how much they loved Mom and looked forward to visits and caring for her & she was one of their favorites. Mom was a most precious and loving soul. When she died, the chaplain was on vacation. She loved Mom very much and my Sis and I had gotten very close to this woman. We felt that they could have at least contacted her about Mom but they did not. She was not far away, less than 20 miles camping but was in touch via phone and computer. Everyone at the Hospice knew of her relationship with Mom but no one told her she died. She got back the day after the funeral. She was crushed that she did not know and was not there for Mom or for us. While she was away there was a Chaplain to cover for her. We never saw that Chaplain and no call to the family to see how things were. Everyone who covered with Mom knew that her support was myself and my Sis only. We her visited daily. Many commented how glad they were that Mom had us to love and care for her. During the 3 days at the funeral home I looked for someone from Hospice to come. On the first day – the family hour – I looked for someone – there was no one. I needed to see them and talk to them and hear them tell how much they loved Mom and about their visits with her. No one came. On the second day-the full day, I looked for someone from Hospice to just care and check to see if we needed anything and if we were okay. I needed to talk to them and talk about Mom. No one came. The funeral day I looked for someone just to say goodbye and thank them and be able to tell them how much I appreciated all they did. I needed them to check to see if we were okay – no one showed. You can't imagine the disappointment and hurt. I felt that all they said about Mom and how much they said they cared and loved her was all just talk. How could they really have cared about her and not say their final goodbye or to check on us? I found out after the Chaplain came back from vacation how hurt and upset she was that no one told her about Mom. She said she needed to be there and say goodbye. She wanted to be there for us. The temporary chaplain never came, the nurses and aides never came and they never called to check on us during the most difficult time for us. I felt that they were there for Mom for the 6 months then their job was over. It was at that time that we needed them most and they were not there. We needed to see them and talk about Mom and for them to tell us how much she meant to them as they had said before her death. It was very hurtful. So that is my lengthy experience. Thanks for listening-Sandy♥

  4. >Sending prayers for you and hope that you have by now reached you destination in Miami and have parked in the safe valet parking. I pray that you will have a wonderful time there as your spirit and words will teach and touch the hearts of those there. Be safe and well and enjoy your time away. Prayers for baby Nicholas and his family who are so worried for him. Prayers for Sandy and Stewart as they continue to rebuild their home. I will send my Hospice experience in the next comment alone. You asked and I know I am wordy so I will this for now and send in next comment. Wishing each of you who come here a very happy and peaceful evening. I am late reading today. Hugs to all – Sandy♥

  5. >Irene what is wrong with you? Walk in Miami, come on girl you better start stomping. You are so right about Hospice, there is good and bad in anything. The bigger the Hospice the bigger the fat cats who get all of the money and all of the praise. Forget about care, think about the cencus. Keep it going. I have many years of Hospice and some is good and some bad. You gotta have team work and sometimes this happens and sometimes you hear the whispers and you know you are not a part of the team. What when you hear in the IDT meetings dont discuss in front of so and so. Where is the team in that one, does it make sense not to discuss everything if you are supporting your team? Things are good and things are bad. The nurses in most cases are the Angels, the administration is the ones who sets on their fat A– and just thinks of ways to belittle or let go of the ones who work the hardest. Believe you me, their day is coming. Enough, have a wonderful time with the help you are going to give to people you have never met before and may not see again, I am here to say your words of wisdom will touch their life. Be careful, we will all stick together and pray for you and all of those who need help. Blessings to Stuwart, Sandy and to the little angel who is so sick. Blessings

  6. >First, may I say SAFE & SMOOTH travels to my friend, dear Dr. SES. Great read this A.M. with an assignment for warriors & lurkers.Hospice has been a part of my life for 3 family members, thru 10 years. I have to think about what I will say, my experiences: good / bad. I knew the HOSPICE when years ago, they had heart, green lights to go up, over and beyond " rules ". Let me think on this a while before I go off on a thousand word essay tear. Have a terrific Thursday all.Doc, I choose the VALET for you, but the walk is okay, too. FIRM-ly STOMPIN ova here…

  7. >hOSPICE SUCKS AS AN ORGANIZATION. They are a HUGE business and like all big companies they layer everything with policies that throw up barriers to care with all their rules. The line staff that provide the patient care are awesome. They do hospice right in spite of the administration. I hate the new billboards for our local hospice. The smaller the hospice the better the "people part". Don't even get me started on the low wages they pay the angels who provide direct service while the layers and layers of administration take home fat cat salaries, and endless perks. Like everywhere the jerks cluster at the top, rake off the $ and browbeat the service staff to do more with less. Add insult to injury, they function like state government. So many "policies" in place that you need multiple permissions to just do a kindness for a patient. So…. Big Hospices SUCK!

  8. >Good morning Cuz and fellow warriors~I hope you have a safe trip to Miami and think of me! Wish I could be there to be your chauffer but work and school has me tied down for now!I think Hospice is an amazing organization. I was first introduced to Hospice when they took care of my Papa and the nurse (can't rem her name) was just "off the chain" She was so nice not just to Papa but to the family and she is still working at Hospice so we do get to see her. I also had to opportunity to help you along w/the family one year in Northern VA b/c you were short staffed and I think that was a very rewarding and defiantly an emotional experience. Since moving back to VA, I have been a volunteer in the office, gone to nursing homes to visit patients, worked at several of the camps that they have for children and was also a CNA for a short period of time. I do believe in the Hospice mission and I love to hear you quote the worda of Kubler-Ross. She defianlty sounds like she was an amazing woman.My prayers continue for Jonathan and his family. Sandy & Stuart, Matt who is in Kuwait but who will be coming home August 14th for good so we are counting the days down, I am also praying for my Amazing Aunt Dot aka COB as she fights yet another bbattle w/cancer in her leg. Too look at her or talk to her you would never know she has any type of issues. I told her when I grown up I want to be just like her and of course she told me "I'm not even grown up yet!I hope everyone has a beautiful blessed day and always we must continue to Stomp and Stomp loudly~ We are warriors who stand strong together!Love to all~~Cuz drive safely and please pay the $34 valet parking and don't be walking the streets of "Meami" alone!!! God Bless you all~~

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