we’ve all been there,
many are there right now, takin a few precious minutes for a respite and I’m honored that you are finding here worthy of a moments rest.
The hamster on the wheel is proof in the pudding of those living these days, smushed between lives of caregiving, while running round and round and somehow losing themselves in the process of it all.
That running in circles
and in lives so busy,
even at times getting thrown off the mills/cycles/and round abouts
most folks, just get back up and in the thick of it again.
They forget that perhaps it is in those times of being thrown off or out or on the down
that is a perfect time to be still a minute or longer.
A time to enlist help,
to take an inventory of how you got where you are!
Maybe it is a time to find a new way of doing those things that have you feeling a lot like the hamster on the wheel or a squirrel in a tree
and a time to see if perhaps it is time for a well needed break!
Yet we hear and witness stories all the time of how life and situations threw us for a loop and ended us ass over teacups without notice,
yet we jumped back in there and proceeded right where we left off.
Ofen feeling smaller than how we started, yet the wheel goes on, the demands are larger, the routines get absorbed and a nother day goes by…
Time flies by and rather than counting the blessings we find ourselves counting the tasks yet to complete before we can lay down with all obligations as close to being met as possible.
What is that?
Who are they anymore?
Whose would that be?
Wasn’t that the name of a game that used to be on television?
R e S p E c T?
oh yes, that was a song from back in the Day that Aretha what’s her name sang wasn’t it?
in today’s world
not so much these days.
Another time perhaps what caregiver and person finding themselves in that thing called the
“Sandwich Generation” has time for such things?
Who would have thought that one would have to raise their kids, raise their kids kids and then some.
Who would have thought that the stress of caregiving while trying to make a living would forestall trying to make a life
and also involve caregiving for Elders and balancing lunch/dinner/cleaning/shopping and standing up for beliefs values and community.
Who ever thought that would not impact wellness, balance abilities of caregivers across our world in ways that are hard to understand yet beckon for friends and neighbors and the world at large to pay attention to?
Communities would do well to involve others to invite speakers, health care, funeral industries, pharmacies to support and encourage
seminars, gatherings where caregivers could hear and be validated!
Caring for the caregivers affects their daily lives; their ability to live their life with zest, with mindfulness with absolute joy.
Others don’t know what they don’t know, and caregivers are so absorbed in all that they face that they don’t know what or who to ask for assistance!
It is well documented that caregivers are under tremendous stress, often have to be absent from their jobs, are suseptible to infections, to immune system failure, to Cancer, to stress related illnesses.
If you love someone who is a caregiver; be tolerant, be a good listener, and call them often.
Don’t ask how can I help you.
Instead, offer to take the kids to the mall or movies and give them a break!
Take a meal to them.
When you show up; be active,
ask where is the vacuum/the windex
and make yourself busy!
Offer to sit for them while they go and get a massage, or take a bubble bath.
Be a friend to a friend that is overwhelmed with action steps
offer or start a list for them.
If they are in the process of making end of life decisions and YOU are a good and trusted friend;
offer to go with them to a funeral home.
Let them know you are willing, that you do not want them to be vulnerable and alone in decision making.
Once anyone is like a hamster on a wheel it is difficult to get off!
Even if thrown off, the brain now has the message to get back on
repetitive behaviors are the message the brain is used to receiving.
We must work to give that magnificent brain the messages we want in order to get the results we demand.
WORK THE PLAN
Give the brain the command.
YOU are your most precious resource!
As Dr Seuss says,
“You have a brain in your head and feet in your shoes, only you can decide which path you will choose”
Caregivers have rights and responsibilities just as those they are providing care to.
It is a beautiful thing to care for another,
it is demanding and rewarding,
it takes much,
yet unless you care for you well you cannot provide care for another for the long haul.
Take best care of YOU.
It’s time to fly the friendly skies to
Prayers and thoughts continue for
Thomas O’Brien now home from the hospital with his mom and beloved 4 legged Seamus,
we are with you Thomas and your beautiful mom Debbie.
Walk in Beauty,