In the cold of winter, the chill that is in the air; this can be seen on each street corner, wrapped on trees.
The Green and white, the number of lollipops or angels lining the trees and corners.
The children have returned to school and the parents are releasing them to the arms, and trusted faces of educators and the Principal who stepped out of retirement and into the door, Ms. Page.
Newtown has embraced each other and they are moving, one step at a time, similar to the way a marathon winner wins a race.
Many did not see the vast and growing memorials that were placed at town hall or in front of the churches and schools right after this horrid happening. They chose to stay inside and away from the exposure, the press and the “tragi-tourists“, the constant demands for interviews. They chose to hug their families tight, turn off televisions and hold each other, only venturing out to attend the funerals of friends and their children’s play mates or fellow boy scouts and the daisy troop.
That doesn’t mean their phones were not blowing off the hook, nor that their doorbells were not rung often and much, nor that their plea for privacy was honored.
It means that for many of them, they were rather shocked when they did go and wanted to see the many memorials only to find that they had been removed, somehow thinking it would not be done until after the first of the year there.
They are praying for and believe they are not only ones who have birthed a culture of peace, but that peace will sustain them and bring them to hope for healing.
The memorials have found their way back to many places, scaled down to a large degree, and cleared now every 2-3 days around town.
The mounds of memorials that have been cleared will be creatively turned to soils, and used in a grand re-building when the time is right, so that all is used in memory of those precious lives lost on that day we will all remember as a day when our lives were forever again changed, and such small and beautiful children were slaughtered for no reason, along with brave educators that loved them.
Sandy Hook Elementary will never be used again as a school it seems, but destroyed with the land turned into something of beauty, hopefully someday the memories fading while beauty replaces those horrors seen by so many.
Shock and the aftermath of trauma is still being experienced there; in the brain, the heart, the nervous system. From the little ones to the eldest and those parents and siblings and friends around the globe.Hyper–vigilence has found its way into a community now, and fun is having to be planned and scheduled and T.V.’s are being monitored to protect all from harm. Parents and grandparents, neighbors and friends are like hawks, keeping all eyes ON… You can bet that they know of each car that passes, each look and stare that is there, and who does and does not belong in the neighborhood. They have a hot line and a beeline to each other.
It will be like this for a long time to come.
They are a people of peace, yet trust has been shattered, and it happened in a heartbeat.
Creativity in art is being used to begin the work that will take a long time, work it is yet the children are now enjoying it as they do grief work, express their sadness, fear, and are able to find words for feelings.
Someone creatively made origami cranes that sway in motion, 26 on each pole, and are standing so powerfully behind that bench near the Town Hall there.
About a block away, one can see
and depending on how you view this 2 angels have been seen when the picture was taken.
As you see covered in the snow memorials that have been gently and lovingly placed there and 26 lined crosses for the victims of
Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Through the darkness of trauma, the little ones, the adults are working through this nightmare, this devastation of such pain and loss. Some have gotten the ear of those on Capital Hill and the President to talk about issues of Mental Health and Gun issues/Control/better regultions and high powered assault weapons like the one used there. Others are preferring to stay still for now, it is taking every effort they have to maintain their homes, their sanity, their privacy and to take care of the children; theirs and those of neighbors. They prefer the quiet and continue to pray for privacy in their town and community away from lights and press and those who want to do for them and think it in their best interest.
Many are still walking in a haze, a fog of sorts added to the cold of winter, while hearing that a horrible flu epidemic is sweeping the country as they try to remember to bundle up before going out to see the tributes to the fallen after dark as they hope by then their streets will be empty of visitors and those with camera lenses trying to interview still.
The therapy dogs have been a wonderful success for the children, so many little ones ran to share their secrets, their fears, their words for only the best secret keepers in the world… the four leggeds.
And just this week, , therapy ponies were brought for the children, *for the teens and adults too* I would just bet.
When one child was told to bundle up as he got ready, and to wear his red sweater for warmth, he thought for a moment or two and then said to his Mom and Dad these very telling words,
“But what if the therapy ponies are bullies or if there are therapy BULLS… I’m thinking that red would not be the best choice!”
Ah, but from the mouths of babes, comes so much… What I heard was this,
“therapy could be bullies, they could maybe not be safe, and I might stand out as a target wherever we are going”
Children are marvelous teachers, they are spirit led and do not have the same buffers that adults have now developed in life!
There was a time when we all were open and were able to remember where we came from, we were open to spirit much more freely!
This child was keen in observation and made a statement that was rather funny at the same time was also letting his parents know that in bright red he felt like a target out there, and what if he would not be safe seeing something like a “therapy pony” or therapy anything that may be interpreted in his mind as a bull or bully.
Oh we must listen well when it comes to children who are traumatized and use each and every opening to pursue it with them, to talk in small sentences and to be truthful at all costs.
Now the children of Newtown have returned to school; that in itself will present with challenges. Many children have been exposed to much while other children have been protected from the day to day events, the news, the details. Some families are open in including children in the details, in funerals, in thoughts and feelings of such horror and even in interviews we all have watched on t.v., while others have had a media blackout, talk in hushed tones and the children have been shielded the details.
Yet when they get back to their peers, the talk will begin, the different ages will meld and the word will be on the streets and each will have their own versions and at some point the kids will want to know what they do not know or to have the rumors cleared up!
The tasks are many for a grieving and shocked community.
I’m thinking this kiddo in red could take that pony home and share the stories, that the man in the red cap made him feel real comfortable as he looks like a good listener, almost as good as that little pony.
I’d like a little pony like that for my 4 leggeds to ride around the pool on and to tell my secrets to myself!
Yet, I also can imagine that little kid saying to his family,
“I want the people with cameras to go away, I want to watch cartoons, I miss my friends”.
I can imagine that those kids back at school now have an increased fear when they saw policemen/women at their school that first day and each day since their return just standing there or walking around.
I can imagine that image is making them feel like they are unsafe rather than safer. It is not normal to them, it sends a sign to their still developing brains that something bad is going to happen and that they need protection from a bad person who is on the way.
Kids want to go to school and learn and play. That is what and how kids are.
My heart aches for them.
Here in Hillsborough County in FL, I see on the news where police are standing at all elementary schools now until the end of the school year. It appears that finding a bullet on a school bus after Newtown‘s massacre is what has prompted this, and that the parents feel it unnecessary, the kids are uncomfortable with it and the teachers not real thrilled either.
It was suggested that the beautiful and talented principal of Newtown should have been heavily armed on the day of the horrendous acts of Newtown CT. She gave her life for her students as she lunged at the murderer in an attempt to stop him.
Given what we have learned about her, I cannot fathom her with an assault rifle, nor can I imagine our educators packing heat and teaching our children.
Knee jerk reactions are not the answer to the vast and many problems and the horror of the aftermath we are feeling.
For a moment, and of course it is not possible.
But for the moment, just imagine your world and your heart and the feeling, sounds, sights, smells of your loved one gone from sight by the hands of a deranged killer.
Then sit still in the darkness of that fog.
Say nothing. Just be.
My continued blessings and thoughts to all those in Newtown, to the angels that are now dancing on the galaxies and playing in the clouds, I know they will guide all from the dark fog of winters grief, and into the spring of blooms of flowers and of hope.
I pray you peace as you birthed peace in Newtown.
I will stand by and for you.
Blessings on the suns rays to all here today as we stand UNITED in hope.
Walk in Beauty,
just keepin it real
“WEAR RED”… and walk with your head held high… petting a pony in your mind. (photos are copyrighted)