Oh the places you’ll go . . . we tell the children, we tell ourselves as we build the houses of our dreams, of the foundations of the children. As ours were built by the Elders on solid ground *or not* and then we went on to build from there having learned the golden rule, having had and seen things to base our choices on. Many will then go on to places and things and choices along the way built on the foundations of love, of knowing right from wrong and then make their way into the world. Often they will do as all have done before them; take chances, make mistakes, use poor judgment, experiment from time to time. Yet they will come back to the nest and try again, often asking for forgiveness of those bad choices and start over again, in building their house from within, using lessons learned to prevent the same mistakes, often trimming the fat from friendships or bad relations that put them in the wrong places at the wrong times. Love can build bridges, can take others to flight and mend broken wings while faith can at times move mountains it seems. We’ve all been there and still hear the magical year of 18 arrive and so many stories of youngsters who then declare the world famous cry of “I’m grown now, no one can tell me what to do“.
Yet we can still watch the brain in its continual growth and development that being 18 does not equal being grown when responsibility and sound choices do not equate with the age of voting and acting stupid at times. Interesting when we reflect back on youth, the things we did then and now see. One thing that seems strikingly different is the levels of respect, the amount of entitlement of what is expected to just fall from the sky. Kids not so much wanting a job as a position to just come and find them; wanting to bully and to demand yet not wanting to earn nor give respect to the realities of life. Being able to use that standardized statement “I’m grown” while living in the home of a parent or grandparent and driving a car titled to someone other than themselves and yet feel no responsiblity to pay for repairs or honor a contract to repay someone yet can scream and holler of “why do I need to sign something, do you not trust me?”… And we wonder how could a house built on love, on faith and on trust have ended up this way, with one that was so sweet now preferring to lie and cheat rather than to live with honor and humility in right way relations. Interestingly houses that are often built on strong foundations can still be shaky when the resounding “I’m grown of 18” storms through, when seeds of mistrust are put in the filters and spread in the air. It just may be time for those foundations and those lessons to be put to a test, time for the eaglet to be pushed from the nest and for reality of the world to be seen. A time to stand up and to stand strong in giving messages of “you are indeed grown and it’s time to fly”.
Respect, honor, honoring commitments are all a part of growth and maintaining that house that has been built.
Truth be told, here it is on a chilly Saturday, and I would venture a guess that many who are 18 or 29 are glad to be with parents in a house built on faith, love and mutual respect *or not* and willing to do whatever it takes to be in a house that is not divided but warm and welcoming and filled with gentleness and care.
There are some who will wonder did they do all they could in building their own house, and that is a question for each individual I suppose. Yet it is never to late to begin to clean your own house, to nurture your own self and to begin to stand for all that is within you and those you love. There are times when tough love is the only love left to maintain both sanity and dignity while teaching others how to treat you.
It is a chilly day today, and I wish you all the warmth this day can hold.
In New Orleans the excitement is building as Mardi Gras and Super Bowl are under way there with dancing in the streets and the folks are pouring into town.
Oh my can you even imagine how those houses are rocking?
Build your houses well, on solid foundations friends, and all within will know how to build their own and also how to honor yours as they grow, and as they are grown.
Kamryn and family are on their way to TN for the NRV Elite basketball this weekend! I wish him the sweet sound of “swwoooosh” as that ball is all net! Let’s go Elite!
Blessings on the chilly air,
Walk in beauty