When YOU have hard decisions to make…

There have been those times, oh so many times we have all been faced with those “oh dear God what will I do” decisions. The “I’m in such denialthoughts and doings that we cannot see the forest for the trees times of life. The times that others probably shake their heads and wonder if we can walk and chew gum at the same time while questioning our very sanity.
Speaking of decisions, of sanity of doing the same thing over and over year after year. I must share something here.
From denial of those who perhaps treat you or someone you love or know with lack of honor, respect, care as you may watch from a distance. From relationships that begin with trust, respect, caring and compassion to ones that become too casual, too comfortable as the respect is less than it once was yet tolerated. Ringing any bells here? We hear about it in families, watch it on televisions, hear about it all the time on the News. Those who are “in it” seem to live in a world of “denial” thinking that somehow it is temporary, it will get better on its own, change back to what it was years and years ago.

 People get caught up in comfort zones, in the hope of change without follow through. They remain in places and in things or relationships that seem to be fueled by harshness, hatefulness or guilt stemmed relations. Lovers, partners, friendships, parent(s) and children. Children who scream the age old saying of “I am grown you cannot tell me what to do anymore”, yet live under the roof of the parent(s) or Grandparents while being less than grateful or respectful. Those in relationships afraid of ending them, of walking away while there may still be time to salvage a friendship, or just hoping for change while paying an emotional price that is staggering.
Little kids who witness lies, ugliness and learn the same while living under such stress that a grown person would cry for them as grades plummet and laughter is hard to hear.
Hard decisions to make, yet everyone seems stuck or filled with fear and lacks follow through. I am amazed at that. Nothing changes until the pain becomes so severe that one is tired of banging their head in to a wall. Something has to give. When respect is gone, when trust is broken, promises no longer kept… what is left? Some may think the easy way is to just be and do nothing. How very sad is that?

Imagine a beautiful plate, one that is just lovely. Now hand that plate to someone you love, have them feel it, touch it. Then take it back and throw it to the floor with all your might. Notice the sound, the impact as it cracks. Have that loved person pick up the pieces while asking them to glue it back together at a table. That plate now shattered is the “I’m sorry, I will do better, it won’t happen again”.  After it is glued back together it will not be the same, it will never be the same, it will be evident of the breaks, the pain, the attempt of fixing.
At times after so many “I’m sorry’s” they are words, not actions. Once the harm is done can it really be undone?

Is it really easy to just let it continue, to affect and infect you and those that may be a part of you?
Yes, hard decisions… we are all faced with them in life. It is not enough to turn it over to the Creator to God to whoever is your source of all loving and knowing power. YOU have all within you to stand up and move from your comfort zone into action and follow through in order to make your life better, different, more whole.

 It is past time for people to step out of their own way in order to feel think do differently. We are each given the same light that burns within us. That light may at times feel lessened by circumstances, by bad choices, by time, BUT we must change our sails rather than wait for the wind to change.

Hard decisions do not have to wreck us emotionally when they are happening. We need not become the feeling, we need not assign such labels as “my heart is broken”. It is not broken or you would be dead. Our values will assist in decision making if we sit with them for a moment, if we look to what the goals are, the lessons, the reality of life. Making a decision to move, to have someone else to accept that choices have consequences, to want better for life and for living is a good or needed thing.  It is not giving up, it is standing UP.

 Yes, there are also times when hard decisions mean a person has finally “had enough” and not going to take anymore!  Congratulations. Then a person realizes their worth, the worth of the world and values that will take them a long way. Only then will the fruits of wonderment be known and the light shine brightly as empowerment is found in ways unimagined. Values help hard decisions not be quite as hard to make.  Have you checked your values lately?

 They seem to fit quite beautifully with flow … Respect, honor, dedication, empathy, all give and take. It’s hard to make a U turn on a one way street. Some folks seem to do the same thing over and over and over and over but think that something is going to get better or change. Seriously?

May you have a most joyous weekend, taking best care of you as you work the plan, examine your values, your value to your world while standing UP for you.

Walk in beauty,
author of:
Down The Hallway
Healing Heartaches
Chronic Pain



4 comments on “When YOU have hard decisions to make…

  1. Hello anonymous,

    In the theme of “keeping it real” let me assure you that whatever roads you are travelling, whatever path that is now making you feel your heart is breaking, is broken… rest assured that is an emotional reaction. Reality check;
    Your heart is not broken or you would be dead! Embrace life, as you remember that the hard or easy way in decisions is often made easier when led by values, by respect, by realization that what is to be will be determined in actions not words, in movement not being still.
    Projections into the future do nothing that is good whether good or bad as they only serve to incite worry irritation or further emotional often irrational responses. There is a difference between giving up and being done… Great foundations may be laid, but each individual chooses the house that is built upon them. With choices come consequences both good and bad.
    Best of all things,

  2. Oh no. I am finding out how much in denial I am in. I was having a great day doing the things I wanted to do for the projects that is dear to my heart and then I read your blog. Oh yes, my heart breaks to think that I have to make a choice that will save one person and let the next one make his choices. What happens when one is growing older and think they know it all and they own the world? I am imaging that maybe I was one of those people years ago. I still think I respected my parents, my family and my friends. What has happened to those kids, they did not have a father but they had a mother, grandmom, aunt and God mother to be with them and advise them. They do not know what they arde doing and will not listen to anyone. Where do they end up? The prison bars are waiting for them. The got out of trouble bedfore because they had a loving family to get them a good lawyer. Where is the graditute and the love for the family that sacrificed all for them? It is not there anymore for the disrespect they show for the mon and family. They seem to be lazy, they lie and they steal. My prayers are with them but it is over now. You think you are grown, prove it to me and your family. Prayers are with you and all of the mixed up spoiled kids that have had everything the family could do for you. Blessings to all and prayers. You know who you are. love and blessings

  3. POWERFUL message this morning friend…simply POWERFUL. And so very true…life is choices and we have the freedom to make them and when we make no choice…that is a choice too. And with those choices comes consequences. LOVE this…well said well said. hugs

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